Fuck Me In The Ass Cause I Love Jesus

27

Vorehelicher Sex und Verhütungsmittel sind voll böse und deswegen streng verboten. Da die Bibel sich aber über Analsex ausschweigt und diesen nicht ausdrücklich verbietet, nutzen angeblich viele amerikanische Teenagern dieses Hintertürchen (Verzeihung!), um die christliche Sexualmoral zu umgehen.
God’s Loophole” ist der Begriff für die Praxis und ausserdem ein schönes Beispiel für die Gehirnakrobatik und Bigotterie, die gerne mal mit Religiösität zusammenfällt. Um es mit den Worten von Garfunkel and Oates zu sagen: Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization. Ich freue mich trotzdem über diese ganz besondere Form von Dummheit, beschert sie uns als Folge doch einen wunderbaren Song, der heute schon ein Internetklassiker ist.

Weil es gar so schön ist, hier der vollständige Text:

All my life I’ve been good to what my mom and dad and God say I should
Go to church and bible school .. to live by God’s rule
So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I’ve got my morals in check
It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he’s cute as heck
And I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can’t wait that long
And I don’t want to lose him
To someone who’ll do him
I need to figure something out
Well, there’s a loophole in the scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It’s my hail Mary full of grace
In Jesus’ name, we go to fifth base
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I’m not a godless whore
He’ll have to come in the back door
Therefore
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
It’s the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It’s just between you and me
Because everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see
It’s hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops!
I mean let’s join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don’t touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan’s doorbell, God can’t ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Because birth control’s for sluts, and it’s a sin
I’ve emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I’m ready for romance
I’m praying to the power that’s the highest
But of all of my holes, this one’s the driest
And we can’t procreate if we anally copulate
And God’s OK with sodomy, but only if you’re straight
And I’m staying pure no matter what
So I’m OK with everything but
Everything but
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization
It’s just between you and me
Because everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see
I do whatever the Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they’re unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest, I live by for sure
So let’s not talk about how the good book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don’t count of course
Let’s cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
And ? for ambiguities and omissions
And circumvent any real sacrifice
And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don’t you dare question my convictions
And don’t look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
It’s the only way to measure if you’re good or not
And when you’re in a debate, just say to have faith
Because when up against logic it’s the only card you’ve got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
It’s just between you and me
Because everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
So sometimes you need to think outside the box


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27 KOMMENTARE

  1. Ok, this would be pretty funny if they were’nt featuring LITTLE children in the video and singing this x-rated material in front of them{or of course these kids will want tos ee the video they are featured in, thus…they will be learning this vulgar adult stuff from so-caled adults_ this is the utter height of moral irresponsibiltiy….and makes me sick! People who corrupt little choldren like this should be shot in the face!- SHAME on them, and shame on anyone who finds this amusing; yes it would be..if their were no little kids in it, but there are}. This is how morally depreaved the ‘left’ has become these days, they don’t seem to understand age appropriateness.

    • @Will Baker:

      The children appear twice in the video. First time from 01:12 to 01:25 and second time from 4:25 to 04:28 (that’s 18 seconds, not more)
      While their first appearance the lyrics of the song are:
      “Well, there’s a loophole in the scripture that works really well
      So I can get him off without going to hell
      It’s my hail Mary full of grace
      In Jesus’ name, we go to fifth base”

      While their second appearance one can hear:
      “Yeah, my chastity belt has locks”
      So there wasn’t necessarely any x-rated material sung in front of them.
      Hence, that the scenes with the children are filmed at another location than the rest.

      I agree that the children probably wanted to see the video but it’s not proven at all that they were allowed to do so.
      Shirley Temple for example was never allowed to see their own movies because she was to young…

    • The way you express yourself indicates that you’re an US citizen. Who probably praises (or at least don’t mind) violence in movies/games which can be watched by children at any age. But if a bare nipple is shown, your kind gets scared as shit.

      Like the person before me said, there where no “x-rated” material in front of the children, and if their parents were concerned about it, they wouldn’t have had them in this video in the first place. If the parents don’t want them to watch the full video, then they can simply forbid it until they’re older.

    • Anyone wanting to shoot people in the face should stop talking about moral responsibilities and acting as he invented moral. Double standard as usual by moralists.

  2. BTW, I’m not persoanlly “offended” by this video, I’m just offended on behalf of innocent children whose innocence is being intentionally raped by these fucknuts

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  4. Welcome to the 20th century America, im glad you can join us. But honestly im not surpriced, they are as religiously dominated as most parts of the middle east. And no, children wont be damaged by this video (so many retards in this world), for kids who dont know what sex is, this is just fun n games.

  5. Wie geil is das denn?? So viel Kreativität hätt’ ick den Amis gar nich zu getraut!! =)
    @Will Baker:
    Coz of guys like you I’m really scared ’bout US-americans! Do you really think shooting someone in the head (face) will be better than letting ‘innocent children’ hear something about sex? Just another stubborn, clumsy brained, ignorant and impotent Yank wanna tell us something about moral and that it is better to shoot heads than to have heads… I guess he’s just seriously mad coz he found out that there’s a gap he was never informed about…
    What an over-pious asshole!! Increasing yourself that much that you are allowed to judge who is worth to live and who’s to die?? Please, can you shortly explain, why are you about to fight IS? Ah right… coz they are steepen themselfs to sentence infidels to death and tape the killing. Ofc. you’d never like to be taped while shooting someone in the head… that’s what steepens you over the rabid IS… poor redhead!!

    While ppl (wether christian or muslimic or any other) are breaking human rights and acting misguided in assuming they’d have the right to take others lifes there’s no opportunity in arguing with them in a mature way! You’ve gotta wait til they’re grown up… and hope they don’t waste too much lifes until then! As long as there is religion there will be nutheads talking about moral acting while they themself do piss on it.

    Seriously! Lettings kids watch real killings in news or faked in movies harms them more than a blink of a nipple or the hearing of a word which they mostly use behind your back in school. Well, that’s my opinion!
    Following your argumentation from your first post I now should be seriously scared of being shot by you! How about your ‘fine’ freedom of expression? Does it bring up any contradictions for you?

    I never saw an US-Bible! I guess at the place where it normally reads the rule of you mustn’t kill there’s a big bullet-hole… or you can’t be christian in a reasonable way!

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