Eine gesungene Abrechnung mit 2016. Das Jahr, das wir noch bevor es zu Ende ist am liebsten aus den Geschichtsbüchern streichen würden. Oder eher auf den Boden werfen, mit Benzin übergießen und anzünden. Da kann man ja eigentlich nur von Glück reden, dass wir Dezember haben und die Scheiße endlich bald vorbei ist. In dem Sinne: Fuck you, 2016. Und komm’ bitte nie, nie, nie wieder.
“2016, it’s been a time. It’s been a struggle.
But everything is fine if you’re a straight white male muggle.
We’ve tried to stay composed, cross our fingers, count to ten.
But every time we get to nine you fuck it up again.
You took David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince and Sharon Jones.
Terry Wogan, Ronnie Corbett, Caroline Aherne and Lenoard Cohen.
Victoria Wood was enough for us but still you wanted more.
Muhammed Ali, Gene Wilder, and the Great British Bake Off was the final straw.
You shot down a gorilla, we can’t cure the zika virus
And the woman’s still to blame when men force their way inside us.
Brock Turner’s not a rapist ‘cuz look how fast he swims.
Can someone get me ambien to calm my shaking quim?
Should we just unplug you and then plug you back in?
Did your parents get divorced or did you just drink too much gin?
God damnit 2016 and on top of all of that
Cats is back on broadway – who the fuck did that?
Then throw in all the shootings both on mass and by police.
A spike in racist hate crimes and a bombing down in Nice.
The death toll is upsetting and your politics a farce.
Thank you 2016, you fucked us up the arse.
‘Cuz all over the world it’s not looking good for you.
If you’re female, Muslim, POC, or LGBTQ
And god fucking forbid we’d let Hillary be in charge
Instead we get the spunk trumpets and fuck boys in this farce.
Yes, you really took a dump when you let twat-nugget Farage
lead a racist referendum – who put that shitty frog in charge?
Your Brexit was a dumb-dumb now our country lives in fear.
You really are the skid mark of all the shitty years.
Yes, the USA’s now governed by fuck-cheeto with hair.
And it’s not just in the States, the fucking clowns are everywhere…
Three cheers for fucking Trump and his neo-Nazi crew.
What a bloody, nasty, messy, boobie-fuck to-do.
We’re sorry for the swearing and we’re sorry to be crude
But we’re really cunting angry and it’s all because of you.
You laid an egg of solid fuck, you taint slug-made of ween.
You garbage bag of bum-dust. You are shitty shitty 2016.”